...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
