You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
