two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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