And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
