So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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