Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
nutella sex= disaster
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends