PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose