I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We got so high we made milksteak
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
