Rock
Scissors
Fuck
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
