things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
