i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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