so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
