"it" just moved
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
