those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
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You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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