Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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