Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
