He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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