I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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