I wish I only lived at night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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