you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
