i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
