You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
