he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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