at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
