We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
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Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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