Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
