Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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