No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
