it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
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I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"