absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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