it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says