once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
