ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.