Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
