the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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