Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize