I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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