i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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