Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
