I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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