oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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