Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
