How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There's always time for handjobs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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