is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
