why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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