Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
