i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
