We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
