pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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