your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
