I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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