Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....

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(845): so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again.... http://tfl.nu/lj9p

Replies (22) Good night (982) Bad night (5773)
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(815): View more from Illinois

What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

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(815): What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"? http://tfl.nu/6zhr

Replies (34) Good night (2398) Bad night (3167)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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(828): I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995. http://tfl.nu/siku

Replies (17) Good night (2768) Bad night (787)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

That wasn't intended for you, my bad.

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(304): What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me. (1-304): That wasn't intended for you, my bad. http://tfl.nu/hfz2

Replies (23) Good night (5780) Bad night (1576)
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(518): View more from New York

She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.

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(518): She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids. http://tfl.nu/b0ha

Replies (7) Good night (3523) Bad night (757)
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(765): View more from Indiana

just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.

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(765): just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win. http://tfl.nu/bjq4

Replies (17) Good night (9139) Bad night (1010)
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(480): View more from Arizona

he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is

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(480): he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is http://tfl.nu/i6zj

Replies (13) Good night (2894) Bad night (1747)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.

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(612): Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze. http://tfl.nu/em9r

Replies (6) Good night (2147) Bad night (1442)
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(+61): View more from Australia

why is my forehead so bruised?

(1+61): View more from

i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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(+61): why is my forehead so bruised? (1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms. http://tfl.nu/t9yj

Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (836)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.

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(502): He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on. http://tfl.nu/ri58

Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (630)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.

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(847): Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that. http://tfl.nu/stzp

Replies (1) Good night (1266) Bad night (534)
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(815): View more from Illinois

When did angry sex become our thing?

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(815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv

Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (377)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.

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(256): Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101. http://tfl.nu/zhx3

Replies (5) Good night (676) Bad night (1251)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Stop watching porn on my work computer.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.

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(314): Stop watching porn on my work computer. (1-314): STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER. http://tfl.nu/jsny

Replies (3) Good night (1822) Bad night (438)
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(915): View more from Texas

He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.

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(915): He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students. http://tfl.nu/u0iv

Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (510)

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