3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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