You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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