Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.