am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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