Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
