She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
