There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town