just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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