sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
