YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
