i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
