things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
