If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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