i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It was confusing and full of hummus
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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