oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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