i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize