Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
