toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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