just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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