Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
